Dork Diaries
Dork Diaries
Menu top
For Fans

WHAT MY PARENTS SAID WHEN THEY SAW THE BROKEN TV

Nikki's Yard Sale

Remember how Brianna broke our TV while I was babysitting her last week?

And remember how I was SUPER nervous that my parents were going to totally flip out?

They did! I’ve never seen my dad so mad. A scary little vein popped out on his forehead the whole time he was lecturing me.  I seriously thought it might burst, which would make him even angrier.

Then I would have wrecked the TV AND his face!

I know what you might be thinking: “YOU didn’t wreck the TV, Brianna did!”

That’s exactly what I thought! But I had a feeling telling my parents that wouldn’t go over so well, since I was supposed to be watching her.

I wanted to say, “Really, YOU guys wrecked the TV because you trusted me to watch Brianna, when you know I stink at that. Don’t worry…I forgive you guys! Just replace the TV, and we’re good!”

But since I didn’t want to spend the rest of the summer grounded and stuck in my room, like Elsa, I said, “I take full responsibility for what happened, and boy, did I learn my lesson! I’ll NEVER take my eyes off Brianna while babysitting her again!”

Parents LOVE when you take full responsibility! And the words “learned my lesson” are ever so slightly manipulative.

It’s like saying, “See! This was actually a really valuable teaching tool for me, and therefore, totally worth all the frustration and annoyance, since you’re a parent, and your job is to teach me, and I just provided a perfect opportunity for that!”

Still, I ended up grounded for a weekend…not too bad when you consider what happened!

The bad part was the TV. They told me I have to replace it, as if I broke a glass or a light bulb, or something else I could actually replace with the $15.74 I have under my mattress.

Since the idea of spending Saturday and Sunday cooped up in my room makes me feel like jumping out of my skin, I came up with a really clever idea: I could use the weekend for a yard sale to raise money to buy a TV!

I pitched it to my parents like this: “I totally get why you guys grounded me. Boy, do I ever! But wouldn’t it be an awesome TEACHING TOOL if you let me raise money through a yard sale on those days instead?”

They didn’t buy it at first, but then I added, “And Brianna can help out. This way, I get a chance to watch her again, and do it right!”

SOLD!

The yard sale was kind of uneventful. The only person who came by in the first hour was Mrs. Wallabanger, and she spent 45 minutes trying on my old clothes without buying a single thing. (Super weird AND embarrassing!)

Then in the next hour, we got lucky. A guy came by and bought every Disney-related item I had on my table, which added up to $75.

He SAID it was all for his daughter, but as soon as he got into his car, he put on my Mickey Mouse Ears, so I had a feeling that was a big fat lie!

Over the whole weekend, I raised $152, and the TV costs $269.99.

That means I raised more than half! While that’s a lot of money, I have a feeling the TV salesman won’t believe that my library card is actually a credit card, so I have to raise over $100 more. Any ideas??

Posted in My Blog | 267 Comments

BRIANNA’S FROZEN DISASTER

Brianna's Frozen Disaster

OMG, I can’t believe what just happened! I’m kind of freaking out right now!!

Last night, my parents told me I’d have to watch Brianna all day today because they were both going to be out.

I squealed, “What?! Is this because I had a huge cell phone bill? That’s cruel and unusual punishment!!”

“Then my dad said, “You have a huge cell phone bill? AGAIN??”

I guess the bill hadn’t come yet! So I changed the subject quickly and said, “Nope, just kidding! Can’t wait for tomorrow. I have a TON of fun stuff planned for me and Brianna!”

Of course that was a big fat lie. I’d rather watch maggots eat garbage than watch Brianna all day. Trust me, watching her is WAY more annoying!

But I didn’t really have a choice. I figured I’d just hang out in my room, Skyping with Chloe and Zoey, and pop “Frozen” in the DVD player in to keep Brianna busy.

She LOVES that movie. Seriously, she sings the music all the time! And she wakes me up pretty much every morning saying, “The sky’s awake, I’M awake, so we have to play!”

Everything seemed to be going just fine for about an hour. It was super quiet downstairs, and super LOUD upstairs because Zoey was playing me some weird song from a new album her dad’s producing.

Then all of a sudden I heard a loud thud. I jumped up like a jack-in-the-box and ran downstairs, terrified of what I might find. And sure enough, it was HORRIBLE!

Brianna was standing next to the TV stand, crying, and the TV was broken…beside the stand…inside Brianna’s plastic kiddie pool!

I screamed, “Brianna, what did you do?!?”

Then she said, “YOU did this! You didn’t want to play with me!”

I kept visualizing her telling my parents, “Nikki ABANDONED me, AND she used all her data. Take her iPhone away!”

I didn’t know what was more terrifying…the sight of the broken TV, or that!

Brianna started to tell me what happened, but I couldn’t hear a word through her hysterical sobbing. After a couple of minutes, I started feeling pretty bad.

Clearly, she was really shaken up!

So I said, real soothing-like, “Hey! Don’t worry! It’s no big deal! Tomorrow we’ll be laughing about this!”

And then I started singing, “It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small! And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all!” (That’s from the song “Let It Go,” in case you didn’t know!)

After that, she calmed down a little and said, “I got my new pool so I could fill it up with water and freeze it, like Elsa!”

I asked her how, exactly, she planned to do those things, and she said, “I figured I’d bring water from the kitchen in bowls and then use magic to freeze the water. Duh!” (Like it was common sense!)

Then she said, “But before I could bring in even one bowl, the TV broke!”

Of course, she glossed over the little detail that SHE broke the TV when she tried to move it, before bringing in any water, so it wouldn’t get wet.

I have to hand it to her for knowing electronics and water don’t mix!

Still, I won’t give her THAT much credit because she really thought her scrawny six-year-old arms could carry a huge TV!

Of course, it toppled over when she tried to lift it up, and that’s when I heard the loud thud!

I was SO glad she was okay, and no, not just so I wouldn’t get in trouble or have to make calls from a landline for a week. (The horror!) I’d feel terrible if she got hurt because I wasn’t paying attention!

I’m not going to take my eyes off of her for the rest of the day…and I’m even going to put on the Elsa dress my mom bought me so I can play with her.

But I have no idea what I’m going to tell my parents! What should I do? Help!

Posted in My Blog | 511 Comments

THE PRIZE I WON ON THE 4TH OF JULY!!

July 9 My 4th of July Prize

OMG, the 4th of July was a blast!!

I was so excited to find out there was a big celebration going on at my local park in the morning, just like where I used to live.

They advertised a bunch of super fun activities, like pie eating contests and three-legged races. I thought that sounded awesome, and all my friends were going to go, too!

When I got there, I saw a table with a massive pile of hamburgers. It seriously looked like a McDonald’s exploded! I LOVE burgers, and my eyes are always ten times bigger than my stomach, so I ran over and started cramming a bunch in my purse.

(I know, it sounds gross…and it is. But I was under hamburger hypnosis!)

Right as I was about to shove one in my mouth, I heard Brandon say, “Will you run with me?”

I THOUGHT he said, “Will you run AWAY with me?” And that kind of surprised me, since we’re not five years old…or Romeo and Juliet!

But before I could ask him what he meant, he added, “You know, in the three-legged race contest? If we win, we get free movie tickets…and I thought maybe we could go this weekend.”

I was SO psyched! Not only would I get to be super close to him while doing something silly and fun, we’d also get to go on a date if we won!

So I blurted out, “It’s a date!” Then I turned bright red and added, “A great date for a three-legged race, I mean. The PERFECT date: the 4th of July!”

After that, we got ready by tying my right ankle to his left ankle with a red, white, and blue scarf.

I was SO excited that I was kind of wired, like I’d just eaten ten pounds of Sweet Tarts! But I was also kind of nervous about being so close to him, so I had my back turned to him while we were waiting for the race to start.

Then I realized my huge ponytail was probably right in his face, meaning he probably had my hair up his nose. So I turned my head really fast…and banged right into his head!

I was SO embarrassed! Before I could say, “Sorry for head butting you!” the race started and we were off!

We lasted about five seconds before I tripped. Brandon was so sweet, though. He helped me get up and then he said, “Don’t worry! We’re still in the race!”

Three seconds later, I fell again! I felt really bad about slowing us down, and even worse that our movie night might not happen.

After I tripped once more and he helped me up AGAIN, I said, “I’m so sorry, Brandon. This is way harder than I thought it would be. I’m ruining it for both of us!”

He looked like he felt bad that I felt bad…and two seconds later, HE tripped! I was pretty sure he did that on purpose to make me feel better. He’s SUCH a great guy!

We didn’t come even close to winning, but I wasn’t disappointed at all. It was so much fun work as a team with Brandon, and it was so sweet to see that he cared more about having fun with me than winning.

You’re probably wondering what prize I was referring to in the title.

After the race, he said, “You did great! And here’s your prize.” Then he handed me a ketchup packet and said, “I figured you’d need this for all those burgers!”

I had NO idea he saw that! Then he smiled and said, “What else can we play?”

After that, we found Chloe, Zoey, Marcy, Theo, and Marcus and had a blast for the rest of the morning. It was SUCH a great day!

Posted in My Blog | 321 Comments

FAN STORY ABOUT A RAINY DAY WITH CHLOE AND ZOEY

July fan story

Yesterday I was SO bummed! I planned to spend the whole day at the beach with Chloe and Zoey, and then it started raining!

I thought the day was TOTALLY ruined, but then they came up with an awesome idea for something super fun we could do indoors.

They decided we could…

Finish the story in the comments!

Posted in Fan Stories | 619 Comments

HOW BRIANNA ALMOST GOT ME IN BIG TROUBLE

Almost in Trouble

I am SO mad at Brianna! She almost got me in a TON of trouble this weekend!

On Friday night, my mom told us we were both going to her friend Jackie’s house the next day.

We were both TOTALLY bummed! I would have preferred to spend the day doing absolutely anything with Chloe and Zoey…and I mean ANYTHING!

Seriously, if they had asked me to sit in the backyard and watch mosquitos for the entire day, I would have been all over that, and NOT just because I’m THAT into bugs.

I just hate going to Jackie’s house. She has two INSANENLY annoying kids, a four-year-old and a nine-year-old, and they’re both JUST like Brianna…after a bottle of sugary soda and 50 pixie sticks!

They’re so irritating that even Brianna hates going!

Last time we were there, the four-year-old, Riley, stole Brianna’s Princess Sugar Plum doll and flushed her down the toilet.

Why, you ask? Riley was convinced Princess Sugar Plum is really a mermaid, and thought she should flush her back to the ocean. (I think she got that from “Finding Nemo”!)

Brianna TOTALLY lost it! When we got home, she screamed, “I am NEVER going back there again! Little kids are SO annoying!”

 

I almost laughed out loud and said, “Oh, you think?!?”

As for the nine-year-old, Aubrey, she’s obsessed with me! Every time we go over, she asks me to give her a Nikki makeover…as in, “You’re so cool and pretty! Make me look JUST like you!”

She even handed me a pair of scissors once so I could cut her hair so “we could be hair twinsies!”

On Saturday morning, I heard some noise in the kitchen before anyone got up. At first, I thought it was my dad having “first breakfast.”

(He’s practically addicted to waffles, so sometimes he wakes up before my mom and makes some for himself. Then eats HER waffles too when she gets up and pretends he didn’t already stuff his face with spongy, buttery, syrup-drenched goodness!)

But after a minute, I heard a bowl drop to the floor. And a few seconds after that, I heard the can opener, and then I heard a high-pitched scream!

I ran into the kitchen and couldn’t believe what I saw…split pea soup splattered ALL over the walls, like it was some kind of weird food art project.

And there was a broken bowl, a broken egg, and a huge dollop of sour cream on the floor.

That combination of food seemed awfully familiar, and then I realized why: those were three of the six ingredients in my fake vomit recipe!

I whisper-yelled, “What are you doing?? You’re going to wake up Mom and Dad!”

Before she had a chance to answer, someone flipped the lights on, and we turned around to see BOTH of them standing right there!

After that, it all happened so fast! Mom picked up Brianna, who was covered in pea soup, and Dad leaned down to pick up a piece of paper that was floating in the goop on the floor.

I knew right away what that paper was: a page from my diary, with my fake vomit recipe!

I had drawn a little picture next to each ingredient because I can’t go more than 15 minutes without doodling. So even though Brianna couldn’t read it all, she knew what everything was. (Why did I have to be so artistically gifted??)

I thought FOR SURE my parents were going to see “FAKE VOMIT RECIPE” in huge letters on top, so I lunged over to grab it and, of course, missed and slipped in the egg on the floor!

When Dad opened his mouth, I thought he was going to say, “We’re on to you, Nikki J. Maxwell!!”

But then he said, “Honey, why didn’t you wake us up if you were hungry? And why would you make a pea dip now?”

A PEA DIP! Apparently, the egg and sour cream had soaked through the WHOLE top of the page, and he looked quickly and assumed it was some kind of dip.

What a relief!

We still had to go to Jackie’s house, since Brianna couldn’t play sick, but at that point, I didn’t even care. I was SO glad my secret recipe was safe! :)

Posted in My Blog | 681 Comments

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER MACKENZIE CAME TO THE TRAPEZE CLASS

Summer Activity Part 2

I know you’re probably all DYING to know what happened last weekend at the trapeze class. Sorry for leaving you hanging!

If you missed that post or you forgot what went down, read this. Don’t worry…we’ll wait for you!

OK, done? Good! So, I smelled a nauseatingly overpowering perfume from down below RIGHT as I heard MacKenzie shout, “Don’t fall, dork!” This, of course, REALLY meant, “I hope you fall, dork, and I can’t wait to record it and put it on YouTube!”

My heart started racing like a freight train, and my stomach started making those really gross noises, which usually means I need to find a bathroom, and fast!

But I was all harnessed in, and I thought if I asked the woman to unharness me so I could run to the girl’s room, everyone would think I was chickening out!

I closed my eyes and told myself, “Stop worrying. Just let go! No, not that way! Hold it in, but then let go. Of the bar…not your bladder or bowels!”

This super confusing inner pep talk made me even more nervous, and I realized I couldn’t hold it anymore!

As the woman unharnessed me, MacKenzie shouted, “It’s about time! You’re holding up the line!” Then as soon as I climbed down, she started to climb up.

Chloe put her hand on my shoulder and said, “Don’t feel bad, Nikki. You don’t have to do it!”

Then Zoey said, “Yeah, we know you’re scared of heights. We’re proud that you even went up there!”

But that wasn’t what happened at all! I didn’t come down because I couldn’t go…I came down because I HAD to go!

Of course, MacKenzie was a huge show off, and a total trapeze hog! She was STILL swinging around when I got back from the bathroom!

Even though I’d rather eat a bowl of my own hair in tomato sauce than spend any more time around her than I have to, I was kind of glad she hadn’t already left.

There was NO WAY I was going to let her leave thinking she was awesome and I was a big fat quitter!

Within seconds, I was back up on that platform, getting harnessed in.

This was really it! I was going to do it! It felt like that big scene at the end of every movie when it’s the star’s big chance to shine. This was MY moment, and no cold-hearted CCP could take it away from me!

From that point forward, everything went in slow motion. I saw MacKenzie rolling her eyes at me, Chloe and Zoey jumping up and down cheering for me, and the woman who harnessed me in talking to me, telling me some kind of rules.

And then it was time to go, but I had NO idea what that woman had said! I SERIOUSLY wished I’d actually paid attention instead of getting all caught up in my movie fantasy!

I took a deep breath and then jumped, and even though I felt super scared before, I felt totally free!

Down below, Chloe and Zoey were yelling, “Way to go, Nikki! You did it!”

I was SO proud of myself! Since I was feeling super confident, I decided on my next swing to attempt to hang from my legs, like I’d seen some other girls do.

But I guess I was a little too ambitious, because I messed up and fell down to the net!

I thought FOR SURE I’d see MacKenzie standing right in front of me, filming on her iPhone.

But when I looked up, she was gone. After I got out of the net, Chloe told me, “As soon as you jumped, she huffed and stormed out!”

If she had stayed just a LITTLE longer, she would have gotten her wish and seen me fall! But you know what? I don’t even care that I messed up. The important thing is that I jumped. Squeeee! It was the best day ever!

Posted in My Blog | 694 Comments
Do you have a question for Nikki?
Archives
Bottom Rip