This question comes from Kate, who writes:
My friend is going to a private middle school next year. I said that she should stay. She said it’s because her parents care about her and mine don’t care about me. I want us to stay friends, but will she stay in touch?
Hi Kate! Let me just start by saying that was WAY HARSH of your friend to say!!
I mean, if my dad wasn’t OBSESSED with bugs and I didn’t have a scholarship, I probably wouldn’t be in a private school either, and my parents DEFINITELY care about me!
(Although, sometimes I question that when I see the HIDEOUS, cheap stuff my mom buys and expects me to wear, but I digress…)
I know your question was more about keeping in touch, but I feel like I HAVE to give you some advice about the other part first.
I’d HATE to think that you’re sitting around feeling all not-cared-about, all because your friend made some rude, thoughtless comment!
I’m guessing she might have said that because she’s sad about leaving and she kind of took it out on you.
If I were you, I’d probably bring it up to her and say something like, “I’ve always been super grateful for our friendship, which is why it surprised me when you said what you did. My parents DO care about me, and what you said was kind of cruel, so I’m curious why you said that.”
As for the part about staying in touch, if she’s really a good friend (and you’ll know based on how she responds when you call her out on the other thing), she’ll want to stay in touch.
I mean, it’s not like the old days, WAY back in the 50s, when there wasn’t any Internet or anything. You can IM, Facebook, send emails…and you can still hang out after school sometimes if she isn’t moving far away.
It’s really a matter of whether both of you want to stay good friends. I just hope that she IS a good friend…because from the one tiny conversation you told me about, I’m not so sure!
What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Kate?