WHEN YOUR FRIEND HANGS OUT WITH SOMEONE YOU DON’T LIKE

This question comes from Kylie. She writes:

What do I do if my best friend only hangs out with the one person I never cared for? She also tells me to shut up when I’m talking. How do I tell her that I feel that she doesn’t like me anymore? What do I do?

My advice:

Hi Kylie! I’m SO sorry you’re dealing with this friend drama! I know that kind of thing can be super stressful!

The first thing that really jumped out at me is what you wrote about your friend telling you to shut up. Has she always done that, or is that a new thing?

I mean, maybe she thinks she’s just joking around, but it’s SO not cool to tell a friend to shut up!!

Friends are supposed to listen to what we say and be all nice and supportive. Sometimes it’s okay to be like, “SHUT UP…he did not say that to you!!!”

But there’s a big difference between that and “SHUT UP…it’s my turn to talk!”

That’s the kind of thing MacKenzie does…and she’s NOT my friend!!

Maybe you could sit your friend down and say something like, “I really don’t like it when you tell me to shut up, and I noticed you’ve been doing it a lot lately. Is there something else on your mind you want to tell me?”

This way you don’t just come out and say, “I think you don’t like me anymore!” You tell her it’s not cool to talk to you that way, and give her a chance to say whatever’s on her mind.

Maybe she’s been talking to you like that because she’s mad about something, but has been holding it in. (That doesn’t make it okay or anything, but this gives you guys a chance to talk things out!)

Or maybe she’s been moody about something else that has nothing to do with you, and because you’re so close she’s been taking you for granted and taking it out on you. And maybe when you ask her she’ll feel totally bad and apologize.

You never know until you ask!!

The part about her hanging out with someone you don’t like that much…that one’s a little trickier.

Why don’t you like her? Is she totally mean to you? Or is that you just don’t know her that well? That makes a big difference, because if you don’t like her but don’t really have a reason, maybe you just need to get to know her a little better.

Maybe your friend sees a different side of her that you’d see too if you gave her a chance.

If she’s super mean to you and your best friend knows it, then you could ask her about that too when you bring up the whole “shut up” thing.

You could say something like, “I know we’ve talked about how mean she is to me so it surprised me that you’re spending so much time with her.”

So that’s my advice! Just tell her how you feel about what’s she’s been saying and doing, and give her a chance to explain herself.

What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Kylie??

Comments

  1. 702

    ♥2read says

    My best friend once was really good friends with someone I really didn’t like. You should try and hang out with them, to see what your best friend sees in her. And maybe the mean girl has change!

    If nothing is different than you expected, you should just ignore them. That’s what I did. She soon forgot about the mean girl.

  2. 704

    Alisha says

    Heyy My friend hangs out with this girl in my class and she is turning into someone she isn’t I HATE IT! what would you do if CHOLE AND ZOEY started hanging with MACENZIE?

    • 705

      anonymous says

      Well I have a girl in my class and she is the same as what your talking about. Just ignore her and carry-on like normal. Or hang out with someone else at school!

  3. 714

    says

    Omg! The same thing is happening to me!Only the girl my friend is fiends with “used” to be my friend and she’s now mean to me. Especially behind my back. She is now a frenimy and plus, it’s like she owns my friend and there’s nothing I can do about it. She has two other friends which I call “personal messengers” for her. Never trust them with anything or they blab! :{

  4. 722

    says

    Look tell her (aka ur friend) how u feel ask her if u can talk along with her, if that doesn’t happen the text or call or find her when she is along. And see what happens.

  5. 725

    says

    I have a prob with my freind her name is idaly and she hanges out with this girl name besty witch i dont like and i hange out with a girl named samatha and idaly does not like WHAT DO I DO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! pleas give me advice

  6. 726

    Sunny Bluebird says

    OMG I am sooo sorry for you. All my friends are kinda like that…and don’t have any serious “all the time” bffs so I just try to live with it. It’s normal for me when one of my so called “friends” is constantly going over to chat with someone else. What I do is just talk to them about it and most of the time they say they were just hanging out with that person once, not all the time.

  7. 728

    says

    i think that you should not be her friend anymore 1st reason is that she tells u to shut up, ok my friends used to tell me to shut up ,every day,shut up,shut up,SHUT UP! it really got me mad and that was when i totally lost it and told her to shut up she started to hold back some tears :*( even though i made her cry i felt good (i am not a bad person)good thing is she never told me to shut up ever again 100% true story :)

  8. 729

    says

    Wow stand up and say u never listen to me so why should I listen to u!are u even my BFF I think not.why are u hanging out with the person I don’t like

  9. 730

    Georgia says

    hey i know the feeling my bffs always hang out with this girl that is always talking about platypus’s. eventually you just tune them out after a while

  10. 731

    says

    Tell me about it my bff wont even talk to me any more. :( I wish she would stop hanging out with this other girl.I want to stop from us not talking!!!!!!!! Help if u are reading this. My name on facebook is shaylynn molina.

  11. 734

    says

    I feel really bad and every time my bff she always hang out with a girl and that girl is a bully! and my bff she acts mean to me and bossy and she doesn`t talk to me anymore

  12. 736

    says

    omg omg ok do u want to know who i am my name is reece im soooo popular but i still have bullies sadly but im REALLY good at makeup and diffrent hairstyles if u want some tips go here: http://www.youtube.com/makeupbyreece and watch my awesome video!! please subscribe!! and like my videos!!thx!! :*
    p.s. oh and tell me if im good or very pretty!!

  13. 737

    Sugaroxxe says

    OMG! Tyty, you are so cute. I love your hairstyles, and I did one and went to school and everyone said I looked great, and I told them about your video, so expect more views. Thank u thank u thank u

  14. 738

    says

    that is so not cool me and my friends tell each other to shut up,but in a friendly nice playful way, but we never want each other to shut up my advice is give her a little talk just like nikki said

  15. 739

    says

    if shes hangin out with her then at least try to be nice to the one u hate and if that doesnt work find some time to spend with ur BFF hope wat i said helps ;p

  16. 740

    kitty leong says

    I felt very very sory for you:( BTW I have A BFF for 2years already Today its the aniversary,And she ingour me:( the person who make her igour me was Samantha anyone find her please tell me

  17. 742

    says

    hey i know something thats sorta like book three because when mackenzie made zoey and chloe in her dance group you felt sad but whenever you feel sad the person might be on your team for a few seconds or back together with you its a good idea from a lesson in book three

  18. 743

    says

    your connected to dear dumb diary sorta

    1.both in middle school
    2.both get annoyed easily
    3.both get very exicted for events at your school
    4.both have brown hair

  19. 744

    ssdoo says

    I know what you feel like :I it’s soo annoying. I had a bff and my old bff asked if she wanted to be her bff when I waan’t there and im like seriously? and then she says i followed her and stuff coz i guessed that her new bff was MY old bff. now the thing is over but it still bugs me :( now my old bff is trying to be so friendly with me. she told lies about me as well saying that i told her that me and the bff she took away from me are bff’s again. and then she tried to look so innocent like -.- i got SO annoyed with her. when we were younger there was this boy and then she told the boy that i threw a stone at him and then the boy who used to be my crush told the teacher and beacause i was small i started crying and they started laughing ! and then i grew a little aswell in like year 4 and then i had this bff ( i have 4 bffs and we’ll stay forever!) and my old bff used ME to get to HER and then one day they were both like hey er.. me and (name) want to be bff’s im like OMG!!!!!! what was wrong with her??? but now she knows better !! :D but anyway back to the point my old bff started crying acting like a DRAMA queen. she’s basically MACKENZIE!!! can you believe it ??? im so stressed she’s still mean but acts all friendly with me. I still dont like her -.- she’s trying to punish me because wen she asked me to be her bff i said no. now she told my tacher about that and my teachers like seriously (name) that was VERY mean of you . im like -.- what shall i do with her?

  20. 745

    Jimena2002 says

    Hey I had this kind of problem back in 2nd/3rd grade I had a blonde friend named crystal and she was my BFF but there was some one named Stella and Stella was my only arch-nemesis and then when crystal met Stella they became Bffs! Then when they began hanging out crystal stopped being friends with me and she began beinging mean and soon crystal moved away and Stella later in 3rd grade moved away. So yeah I’m about to enter middle school and if I see crystal and/or Stella then I will ask advice because if I do see them again then oh my gosh I need to deal with the drama AGAIN

  21. 746

    no name says

    fan story make up -ome-

    OMG!omg omg omg omg omg!
    first of all me and Brandon are boyfriend an girlfriend an 2! the ccp is busted!
    it all started about a week ago,
    while i was walking to class i saw all of the ccp in the office. Like how weird is that?
    I have to go in the office anyway because my mom dropped of my lunch. While i was in the i heard that the ccp hurt this kid with words! They were in big trouble. But also
    all the cpp girls. eeekk!!!! there gonna be out of the school for like 4 mouths.
    I walked out of the room all happy and stuff.
    but when one of the girls walked out. she was all in my face! Like how is it my fault your got in trouble?!
    -you finch the rest- !!!

  22. 748

    says

    Actually, I just heard MacKenzie tell who she addressed as “Maxwell” that Brandon liked her!(“Her”, being MacKenzie) Another dude said, “Nikki, there U R! OH, Mac! Um, WHY R U here?!”

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