Sometimes I wonder if my mom sleeps with her eyes open when I talk because it’s like she doesn’t know me AT ALL!!
The other day she was all like, “I’m so proud of you for doing well on your Math test!” And that’s kind of random since I actually got a 35 because I was super tired that day!! Maybe she just assumed I did well because she wanted me to?
Anywho, she was like, “Since you did SO well I think we should go to Target and buy you some new pajamas!”
Um, really? THAT’S my reward for doing well?? I know, I didn’t actually deserve a reward at all…but if I did, I definitely wouldn’t want Target flannels as a reward!
Then later that night, she was like, “How would you feel about having professional pictures taken, just the two of us?”
I guess there’s some online group where mothers post pictures of themselves with their daughters. I mean, it’s sweet that she wants to be close with me and all. And I love her and everything, I really do.
But there’s NO WAY I would want pictures of the two of us posted all over the web!
I mean I can just see it now: The two of us in matching sweater vests, doing cheesy pose with our chins on our fists.
I might as well just email everyone in my school and say “Please, cyber bully me now!”
Then my mom was like, “Do you think I should make a profile on the Facebook? We could be friends!” (I don’t have a personal page, but I have one for my books…in case you haven’t seen it, it’s here!)
But really…THE Facebook?? The site actually used to be called that like forever ago, but she doesn’t know that…which is just further proof we should NOT be friends on Facebook!
Then the other day, she came to school to pick me up and asked if we should give my friend Jessica a ride.
Jessica is SO not my friend!! If we gave her a ride, she’d probably plant some type of bugging device in the car so she could spy on us and collect dirt for MacKenzie.
OK so I guess I could tell my mom a little more about my life and stuff. Then maybe she wouldn’t seem so clueless. But sometimes it feels like she’s from a different planet or something.
I think she kind of feels bad because Brianna takes a ton of her time. That girl needs attention 24/7!!
And if my mom’s trying to talk with me about anything, Brianna does something totally crazy or bratty to pull her away.
Like the other day, my mom was asking me what I was going to cook for dinner. (Because Monday’s my night to cook now, remember?)
She told me she wanted to show me how to make her special lasagna, but then Brianna started going, “Mooom! Moooom! Moooooooom!”
Like just saying it over and over again. SO annoying!
Mom was like, “Just a minute hun. I’m helping Nikki!”
Then the next thing you know, Brianna’s crying because she was dancing around in the living room and she knocked this vase over and broke it.
So of course my mom had to run over to make her feel better. That was SO not an accident!!!
So my Mom was like, “Nikki could you use these pieces for some kind of art project?” Okay, I admit that was a kind of cool idea.
Maybe she knows me a little after all. But I’m SO not doing LAME mother-daughter photos!!!
Do you feel like YOUR mom knows you pretty well or can she be clueless sometimes like mine??